Sunday, September 12, 2010

Fuck You

When I left home I stopped believing in God. I have crafted that basic moral structure to be a philosophy that influences how I see the world and how I operate in it. I have taken what I needed and moved on; leaving behind what I found worthless.

After that point, I converted to believing and investing myself 100% into photography and a photography career and the success, failures, and challenges it would provide me in the future. I stopped believing in photography and the photographic career (one more than the other) shortly after realizing that what I was trying to find was not there. I have crafted photography and its lessons and tribulations to be a philosophy that influences how I see the world and how I operate in it. I have taken what I needed and moved on; leaving behind what I found worthless.

In one of the most life-changing conversations I have had this year, Erin and I ungrounded the idea that my struggles are that I am in a constant pursuit of finding a structure or organization to wholeheartedly support and believe in. The issue is that I have yet to find it.

I'll keep trying.