Thursday, May 13, 2010

Notes

In their silent introduction he felt embarrassed as if caught in the act of doing something terrible. Little did he know that she, in her naivety, simply thought he was a quiet man. But in reality his loneliness had overrun his soul and his self. He had sought loneliness to solve loneliness. He found it ironic that was usually the case for people empty of affection and love.

He watched dog. Dog’s tail was sweeping the worn, dry dirt of its broken leaves. He felt as if he was digging a hole with the silence at hand. But he observed that Faith was content. Her feet moved to and fro. Dog leaned his nose down to his shoes and smelt the dark leather.

Faith found their silence normal. He noticed, as if she was calibrated, once she looked up at the tree’s leaves, her legs stopped moving. But once she brought her gaze back down to the horizon or below, they began to dance. He wanted to ask Faith if this was intentional or just tell her he noticed.

Sun had forced its way through limbs and leaves and danced golden splotches all over their surroundings. He couldn’t stop thinking that in Faith’s innocence she was comfortable and in his new found comfort, he hoped to become innocent again. He couldn’t fathom what that meant. To ponder it more, he tried to assign when he lost his innocence but gave up when all three of their heads moved towards a jackhammer on the tree.

Shortly proceeding, Faith reached her fingers to his face. From his perspective, she had a grin that extended from her mouth directly up her arm into his cheek. He stared, as if she was a performer, and he waited for her move. But just as their shared silence became about the space of nothingness full of potential-everything, so was her movement, her blind intentions. He thought about how the silence has become positive space. This gesture without an ultimate action had taken the same form- both the silence and her reach.

“Hi, I’m Adam, friend.”

But as if to return his initial behavior, she didn’t respond. Her hand had fallen back to her legs. She had become content with the situation and didn’t feel it was necessary to change it. But as if against her will, she spoke.

“What’s with the black clothing, the white strap around your neck?”

“I got back from a funeral” he said.

“Who died?”

“I think me”

She didn’t understand.

No comments: