Friday, January 22, 2010


A year ago I had just moved to Chicago, still believed in a god of sorts, was drastically confused about photography and art, and was at Columbia College running around like a chicken with my head cut off meeting people and doing all I could.

There are plenty of other things that were going on but I'm happy with my 20th year. I am. I'm about to release an entirely new body of work that, when I am finished with it and it is online, I will have been working on it for nearly a year. A year ago I always was amazed when I saw photographers working on projects for years at a time. So I'm excited that I am taking a step in that direction. I believe not having art school assignments has helped me slow down my process, shoot, relax, take in, think, not think, and edit when I need to. However, it has taught me that it takes more than an ounce of maturity to sit down and organize your thoughts and images. I realized art school keeps you on your toes with quick, challenging three or four week assignments that raise questions about technical issues or conceptualizing a project. There is a place for that but it has been beyond helpful to have to sit down and scan and edit for hours just for myself.

I recently was at work and told my boss I couldn't wait to realize I wasn't invincible. That was the day I grew up a bit.

After a semester of normal school at City College where I was no longer dealing with the issue of creating art out of ideas in my head and instead dealing with societal issues and breaking down other peoples ideas and principles my mind expanded a little bit. The world was no longer just my current and future debt, my ideas, and tons of portra 400nc in the c-printing lab. It allowed me to expand my perspective on the world and even just my sense of responsibility around the house and with errands.

In conclusion, as the youngest of four where I have felt under a microscope of supportive criticism for all of my life, I've been waiting to feel this way. This way is understanding that shit needs to get done, I need a helmet, and it's time to stop eating so much shit (i'll still eat little caesers pizzas with you, albie. no worries)and other great realizations.

It's like how you used to hate veggies. Then one day you said "fuck, I like veggies." and then eat the shit out of them because you like them. That's how growing up is. I just hit a breaking point where I want a clean shower, a clean floor, clean dishes, a haircut, financial security through a stable job, fucking good food around the house to cook with and... other stuff I seem to be valuing as "adult stuff" because "fuck, I like this stuff" because you realize the good it does you.

I think that's all. If not I'll post again.

Speaking of responsibility, I'm at work blogging about my 21st... time to run to the courthouse to file a bunch of shit then go get a haircut (for real)


dr.brown said...


konsti said...

thanks pete, i like your story.

Justin said...

I love these self reflection posts. They are really inspiring.